dementia praecox

My tears fall in church today. I feel like hugging Cin or just someone; anyone.

Met up with Cin and Drew, ended up watching the play "Rebound-er" (or was it Re-bouncer?) It was a meaningful play; revolves around the theme: 跌倒了就要爬起来，这就是人生。

I admit, I am considered a non-believer in the house of Gods, and I don't feel as relaxed as I've liked to. But the fact still stands that, I believe HE exist. Contradictory? I've like to think not.

无风不起浪。 Does that mean that every listed Deity out there (whatever the religion is) exist? I don't know. Nobody knows for sure. So, I stand at this weird cross-junction pondering what to believe. Because looks can be deceiving, and humans love to use this to their advantage.

I can't even trust myself, what makes you think I can trust something that I don't see; however big the effects is on the lives of the people surrounding me?

That is why I believe in spirits. That is why I am a free-thinker. I am accepting to all religion's preachings because of the basis they preach; to do good. Though it is hard to give my heart to any particular religion.

How can I give so fully to something what I don't have?

Moved I was, every time I enter HIS court. But which HE am I talking about? Do I really know?

And that, is why I did not raise up my hand to accept the pastor's prayer.


P.S: I feel apologetic now because this is taking up a p.s instead of the actual post... Happy Birthday Pei(s)... Yes, you, PC and Yingz. *撒花+放鞭炮*

Labels: Birthday Post, Ponders