dementia praecox

Write about an incident where you almost failed, but endured and completed an objective.
I was, for the first time of my life, almost done in by the toilet cleaning auntie.

The place I am working at is on the second floor of this building and every morning, there'd be a cleaning spree from bottom up.

The thing is, I think I ate something wrong this morning and by the time I reached office my stomach 'complained'. And it hurts, like a twister in the bowels would.

Of course, I headed straight for the 'gold deposit'... and to my horror! The 'Cleaning In Progress' sign!!!

Dismayed but not discouraged, I approach the elevator, fast. But it was packed! Internally, I'm sobbing up a river and my rectum did a sort of dance that took the color off my face. I had to position my legs carefully while I climb that flight of stairs to my ultimate goal so as not to embarrass myself later in the day.

"Water flows downwards while people strive towards altitude." Like that Chinese saying, we should all aim high. But cleaner auntie, this is ridiculous!

That devil spawn seems like a predator on the hunt; and instead of just finishing off the prey, she toys with me with all that 'traps' she puts at every level. (Damn that goods lift!)

Then lo and behold! No 'Cleaning In Progress' sign on the fifth floor! My sense were on high alert as I spotted the other 'trap'; the cleaner trolley of death. The mobile storage with an arsenal of weapons you can't ever beat. I held my breath and tried to listen for the tell-tale signs of an enemy in hiding against the thundering of my heart.

The toilet door shimmered as if inviting me in, or was that the effects of the cleaning varnish? Moving enthralled, out of no where I heard a pair of rubber boots squeaked and I froze.

My face grim (green) with determination, flushes white as internally alarms rang and my subconscious screaming "You're caught" repeatedly.

A foot appeared from the Gents (followed by a body, of course.) and this scene literally moved in slow motion as I felt my breath caught.

Cleaner uncle spotted. Fireworks ensues as I breath a sigh of relief, then paled because I got too relieved. I try reasoning with my excrement as I limp the two meters to the Ladies' entrance.

To add to my predicament, a "ding" came from the goods lift and out walks the cleaner auntie. With distance on her side, she artfully steered weapons mobile and in an instant barricaded the door to my comfort. I could almost see her pumping her fist into the air with triumph and I would've joined her, had I gotten into the toilet in time.

My mind was pondering between being in amazement at her agility and skillful maneuver or recoiling in horror at the would be humiliation that is me without an extra pair of pants. I think I whimpered.

That did not stop her from putting down the 'Cleaning...' sign. My face must've shown the turmoil as she looked questioningly my way. I plucked some courage and asked if I could use the toilet. She nodded then pointed at the Gents.

I recoiled. "But auntie, I am a girl!" She frowned and I almost pushed pass her to my throne of gold deposit like I didn't care. Almost.

A voice rang from behind, (the cleaner uncle is still there!?!) "Let her go la, she cannot make it liao..."

I nodded furiously at that statement and looked pleadingly at the cleaner auntie.

A sigh-ed "Yes" was the God's sent and thank the Lord for not needing new pants.

Finally, "Deposite Gold" mission accomplished.

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Okay, Jui Keng didn't believe we could write a story about everyday life to capture the examiner's eye and hit the 300 - 500 words limit at the same time. Hopefully this piece proved him wrong.

Labels: Drabbles